Well, we are officially at my dad's. This is the 3rd night here and we finally have internet. Good thing too, I probably would have suffered from some kind of withdrawal or lack-of-internet-attack or something.
We are still super cleaning the old house as part of the deal. We haven't got the dog here yet either, but tomorrow is the day. For sure.
Tomorrow is also the last day of 2010. I wish the changing of the year actually meant something. I would love for everything to change magically because it's a new year, but sadly January 1st is just another day.
2010 has sucked, really. I can't remember many really good things that have happened and I have really sat down and thought about it. In 2010 I lost faith in a good bit of my church family, I lost my security (Brian's job) and I lost my home, to name a few. Most of those things have been in the past 6 months.
Thinking about those things I started thinking about "blessings". When something good happens we say "Oh I am so blessed!" Occasionally when something bad happens we will still say "Well, this happened but I still have ___ so I am blessed!" and even more rarely we say "Despite it all I have Jesus, therefore I am blessed." but I have NEVER NEVER heard someone say "I have been blessed with loss."
Maybe it is our generation, maybe it is our culture, but in our minds "blessings" and "stuff" are synonymous. We get a big fat check or a new car or a new home and we say "God has blessed me!" but where does the bible say "Live for me and I will give you stuff!" or "Be a Christian and I'll make sure you live a fluffy life!"
I'm pretty sure my bible says that being a Christian will be hard.
I've never read anywhere in my bible where it says that when we are being "good" He will give us treats. Yet that is the attitude I keep running into.
"Oh, well I have been going to church every Sunday for 3 years straight so God blessed me with a new car!" or "I teach Sunday school so God has blessed me with a new home!"
How about this? Straight from my heart...."I live for Jesus and he asks for more! I give as much of my free time as I can spare and He asks for the time I am putting elsewhere! I give until it hurts and he wants me to give the rest." You know why? Because I am blessed! He takes things away because when we are at the bottom, when we have nothing left at all, we run to Him. Even when we feel we are close to Him we can always be closer but sometimes it is not easy to know how to do that, well, He made a way for me, and what better blessing is there?
We are not puppies. We do not do tricks for God so that He can reward us, and often "blessings" are more like curses, even though we may not realize that.
Am I against "things"? No. I still like things, unfortunately, but I am suggesting we rethink our attitude on blessings. I truly believe God is more likely to bless us in ways that have nothing at all to do with anything that could pull us away from Him.
The greatest blessing I have received in a long time: I often get discouraged with our youth group. They are teenagers and teenagers will be teenagers. I think that says enough. I complain often to Brian that I don't feel like we are reaching any of them and everytime they make a bad decision I carry the weight for weeks. A few days before Christmas one of them texted me excited about a Christmas present she had received. It said something to the effect of "It's blue and beautiful and has my name on it! I have always wanted one! I love it!"
What was she talking about? An ipod? A new cell phone? Clothes? Jewelry? Other wonderful "blessings" like that??
No. She was talking about a bible. A 16 year old girl was ecstatic about receiving a bible for Christmas.
I cried. For awhile. Happy tears. Proud tears. Blessed tears.
As we go into this new year remember that just because you don't have things doesn't mean you aren't blessed and more importantly, just because you DO have things doesn't mean you ARE blessed. Jesus looks deeper than the things we own so we should look deeper than those things to find Him.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Saturday, December 25, 2010
No more Christmas
and then it's over.
months of shopping and planning and music, hours of cooking and wrapping and then, boom, it's over.
every year it surprises me more and more how quickly Christmas ends how disappointing it usually is. No one admits that of course, but I like to believe most everyone feels that way.
I think most of it can be blamed on expectations. We all have this thought, this idea, of what Christmas will be, and it never is. This year was a little closer here in northwest Georgia because it snowed. Yes, snow in Georgia, special occasion indeed.
It amused me to see how many people were more annoyed than happy. We aren't used to snow interfering with our plans and heaven's knows our cars/drivers are not equipped or prepared to drive in such weather. Everyone was so excited about snow on Christmas, since that's how it's supposed to be or whatever, and then everyone was mad because they either couldn't go anywhere or it was difficult and dangerous to do so. Which brings me back to my original point about expectations.
We wake up, I look cute in my matching p.js and somehow look marvelous in every early morning picture we take...the girls shriek with excitement at every single present and the presents seem to last for hours. We eat a delicious breakfast that we all make together without arguing over who has to do the dishes or how to scramble the eggs, we get dressed in our cute little outfits and we go see family....every one is happy and the conversation never ends...once again, presents seem to last forever AND I get a few things.....this continues for a few different family outings, while playing football in the snow with my cousins my daughters play with their new presents and my hair never falls out of place....we go home, drink hot chocolate and play with their toys together before going to bed with my hair still right where it should be.
That is my dream Christmas.
Oh, and there is snow but it doesn't affect driving, at all :)
Never happens that way though. Rather, I wake up grumpy looking like a mess, don't get time for a much needed shower, Hannah is content but not thrilled with anything, family get-togethers are rushed and chaotic, and I still look like crap. By the end of the day I am exhausted and ready to cry/sleep for years. Merry Christmas.
Oh I know, I know, Jesus is the reason for the season, but it's more. Even the people who claim it is not more, secretly know it is more.
How many people do you know who wake up, sing songs to Jesus and spend the day reading the bible? No presents, no family, no secular Christmas songs? I don't know any. Not that there is anything wrong with either way of doing it, I don't care what you do, you're not me, but when I am stressed out about Christmas, or like now, tired of Christmas, it annoys me to hear "remember the reason for the season!" from people who have a Christmas tree with presents sitting in their living room and a Mariah Carey Christmas album in their car. Be real.
Anyways, Christmas is over now, and ironically enough the reasons I am glad have a lot to do with my relationship with Jesus. It is easier to be close to him January-November. Boy isn't that a sad truth?
So tomorrow we will wake up and Christmas will only be a memory and some scattered pieces of ripped up wrapping paper I will continue to find for weeks. The kid's toys will get old, I will forget to write thank-you notes and life will go on until next year.
Merry Christmas everyone! And happy New Year! (in case I don't see ya before then)
months of shopping and planning and music, hours of cooking and wrapping and then, boom, it's over.
every year it surprises me more and more how quickly Christmas ends how disappointing it usually is. No one admits that of course, but I like to believe most everyone feels that way.
I think most of it can be blamed on expectations. We all have this thought, this idea, of what Christmas will be, and it never is. This year was a little closer here in northwest Georgia because it snowed. Yes, snow in Georgia, special occasion indeed.
It amused me to see how many people were more annoyed than happy. We aren't used to snow interfering with our plans and heaven's knows our cars/drivers are not equipped or prepared to drive in such weather. Everyone was so excited about snow on Christmas, since that's how it's supposed to be or whatever, and then everyone was mad because they either couldn't go anywhere or it was difficult and dangerous to do so. Which brings me back to my original point about expectations.
We wake up, I look cute in my matching p.js and somehow look marvelous in every early morning picture we take...the girls shriek with excitement at every single present and the presents seem to last for hours. We eat a delicious breakfast that we all make together without arguing over who has to do the dishes or how to scramble the eggs, we get dressed in our cute little outfits and we go see family....every one is happy and the conversation never ends...once again, presents seem to last forever AND I get a few things.....this continues for a few different family outings, while playing football in the snow with my cousins my daughters play with their new presents and my hair never falls out of place....we go home, drink hot chocolate and play with their toys together before going to bed with my hair still right where it should be.
That is my dream Christmas.
Oh, and there is snow but it doesn't affect driving, at all :)
Never happens that way though. Rather, I wake up grumpy looking like a mess, don't get time for a much needed shower, Hannah is content but not thrilled with anything, family get-togethers are rushed and chaotic, and I still look like crap. By the end of the day I am exhausted and ready to cry/sleep for years. Merry Christmas.
Oh I know, I know, Jesus is the reason for the season, but it's more. Even the people who claim it is not more, secretly know it is more.
How many people do you know who wake up, sing songs to Jesus and spend the day reading the bible? No presents, no family, no secular Christmas songs? I don't know any. Not that there is anything wrong with either way of doing it, I don't care what you do, you're not me, but when I am stressed out about Christmas, or like now, tired of Christmas, it annoys me to hear "remember the reason for the season!" from people who have a Christmas tree with presents sitting in their living room and a Mariah Carey Christmas album in their car. Be real.
Anyways, Christmas is over now, and ironically enough the reasons I am glad have a lot to do with my relationship with Jesus. It is easier to be close to him January-November. Boy isn't that a sad truth?
So tomorrow we will wake up and Christmas will only be a memory and some scattered pieces of ripped up wrapping paper I will continue to find for weeks. The kid's toys will get old, I will forget to write thank-you notes and life will go on until next year.
Merry Christmas everyone! And happy New Year! (in case I don't see ya before then)
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Christmas spirit
I went to walmart tonight to trade in a "pair" of shoes. I put quotation marks around the word pair because it was actually two left shoes :P
While I was standing in line in customer service I noticed the boxes for the "angel tree" presents.
I am not very familiar with the Angel Tree program, but from what I understand the first names, ages and "interests" of needy children are put on cards then those cards are put on Christmas trees. A person would pick a card, buy items for this child and then leave the items in the designated "drop-off" location.
Tonight I was standing right next to said location. I looked over and there were two huge boxes, one of them packed full of toys. It really warmed my heart to see so many people who reached out and made a difference for these families.
Now that I am a parent I understand how it feels to face a Christmas without presents. You don't mind for yourself but it really feels terrible for your children. Luckily for us things worked out and we will be able to get some things for the girls, but it isn't always that way.
I'll admit I have been skeptical about programs like this in the past. Thinking "There are homeless people on the street, and we are worried about kids not having new toys. Geez." Sounds mean I know, but that's what I thought. I didn't think it was THAT important to give kids presents on a holiday that shouldn't be about presents anyways, but that has changed.
I don't know all of the reasons God has put my family through the things we are going through, but it has changed the way I think about a lot of things and that has to be some of it.
I've not been looking forward to Christmas. I've not been feeling the "Christmas spirit" ever since we got the letter saying we had to leave our house. I've not been depressed, after the first few days I've not cried, but I've been....to quote Pink Floyd...comfortabl....you know, I don't have to finish that, you know, lol, but tonight standing there looking at that box overflowing with love for and from strangers, I felt it. I remembered that indeed, Christmas is not about the presents, for some people it is not about even about Jesus, but universally Christmas is about love. It's about being with family and friends, sharing what little bit we have with everyone else and embracing our neighbors.
Christmas spirit doesn't come from a store, but tonight that is where I found it. I pray that every person participating the the Angel Tree program is blessed 10x what they gave and that every family touched by that program is blessed the same. I encourage you to find a way to give that love sometime this Christmas season, you never know how it will affect someone.
While I was standing in line in customer service I noticed the boxes for the "angel tree" presents.
I am not very familiar with the Angel Tree program, but from what I understand the first names, ages and "interests" of needy children are put on cards then those cards are put on Christmas trees. A person would pick a card, buy items for this child and then leave the items in the designated "drop-off" location.
Tonight I was standing right next to said location. I looked over and there were two huge boxes, one of them packed full of toys. It really warmed my heart to see so many people who reached out and made a difference for these families.
Now that I am a parent I understand how it feels to face a Christmas without presents. You don't mind for yourself but it really feels terrible for your children. Luckily for us things worked out and we will be able to get some things for the girls, but it isn't always that way.
I'll admit I have been skeptical about programs like this in the past. Thinking "There are homeless people on the street, and we are worried about kids not having new toys. Geez." Sounds mean I know, but that's what I thought. I didn't think it was THAT important to give kids presents on a holiday that shouldn't be about presents anyways, but that has changed.
I don't know all of the reasons God has put my family through the things we are going through, but it has changed the way I think about a lot of things and that has to be some of it.
I've not been looking forward to Christmas. I've not been feeling the "Christmas spirit" ever since we got the letter saying we had to leave our house. I've not been depressed, after the first few days I've not cried, but I've been....to quote Pink Floyd...comfortabl....you know, I don't have to finish that, you know, lol, but tonight standing there looking at that box overflowing with love for and from strangers, I felt it. I remembered that indeed, Christmas is not about the presents, for some people it is not about even about Jesus, but universally Christmas is about love. It's about being with family and friends, sharing what little bit we have with everyone else and embracing our neighbors.
Christmas spirit doesn't come from a store, but tonight that is where I found it. I pray that every person participating the the Angel Tree program is blessed 10x what they gave and that every family touched by that program is blessed the same. I encourage you to find a way to give that love sometime this Christmas season, you never know how it will affect someone.
“Maybe Christmas,” he thought, “doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas … perhaps … means a little bit more!” -Dr. Suess (How the Grinch Stole Christmas)
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