When it rains it pours

We are behind on rent. Brian got his unemployment check yesterday and we were going to pay on the rent today. I woke up on time, I was happy skippy and in a good mood. Hannah was going to be on time,I started a load of laundry before we left because I was going to be productive today!

Then we left the house.

The gauges on the van messed up the other day so the gas gauge is off. We were about 2 minutes from Hannah's school, we had almost 15 minutes to spare. Life was good. Then the van started jumping. Brian looked down at the gas hand (since we were obviously running out and that is habit) and he saw that not only were we running out of gas, the van was also overheating. So we pulled to the side of the road. He gets out, makes sure everything is ok or whatever, puts some water in something, I don't know, but while he is out the battery dies because of the flashers.....

So we are sitting on the side of the road with a dead battery, no gas and an over heating van and my first thought is "REALLY God?? Seriously?? Today was supposed to be GOOD! Today was my day!"

We got home with help from my parents, and my first instinct was to crawl in bed and say "Well, I tried right?" To sink back into the depression that controls my life most every day anyways, just give it another 24 hours of my life and say "Forget it."

But today is different. I have more fight left after all, and I refuse to let the world take this beautiful day that God has made for me and turn it into another day full of sadness and hopeless feelings. Not today. Most days I am just too tired to fight it, but for whatever reason, the energy that I had focused on my laundry I am refocusing on God. With everything I have today I am going to praise and glorify Him.

I don't know why He let my car break down, I don't know why He hasn't given Brian a job yet, I don't know why He allows me to suffer with depression, but I know the fight I have in me today is from Him, because without Him I have nothing, and I am going to use it for His good, even if I have to remind myself of that every 5 minutes.

They say when it rains it pours. From everything I have seen that is true, but it goes both ways. If Satan wants to pour bad things on my head I am going to turn around and pour praise for God back on his, and I know that in return God will pour blessings on mine.

I am giving it back to Him, as we all have to do so many times in our lives.

Today is different.