Sometimes we are faced with decisions that are obvious. To drink or not drink, an easy one for me. To go to the club or stay at home, no sweat. But sometimes the right thing to do is not so black and white. How do we handle those situations? Even in the aftermath, I am still not sure what I should have done.
Obviously this is not an entirely hypothetical situation I am talking about. I was recently faced with a choice. Someone confided in me. It was very personal, and in ways I felt like it should remain between us, in other ways I felt like it should be shared with someone else involved. That is about as deep as I can go, except to say I did not share it, and the other person found out.
However, despite the terrible consequences coming with that decision, I am still not sure what the appropriate action would have been. Had I told them to begin with I would have lost the secret-holders trust, something I worked very hard to gain, and yet in the end, I lost the other party's trust.
How can one stay out of situations like this? Should I stop people and say "No, no secrets."? People need someone to talk to right? I am very good at keeping secrets, but where is the line? Obviously, if someone could get hurt I would need to say something. If someone has already been hurt, something needs to be said. But like I said before, it is not always that black and white.
And now I am left with my thoughts. Not knowing what my next step should be, or how to attempt to make it right....or whether or not I should bother.
I am easily discouraged. I have always had doubts in myself and my abilities, so when I screw up, which I obviously have, I go way down. As much as I fight it, my mind goes from "I screwed up." to "I'm a screw-up.". From "I need to learn from this.", to "Will I ever learn?" All of my mistakes from the past come back and suddenly I feel unqualified to scrub a toilet, much less be a wife, mother, leader and friend.
I am an in-charge person. I don't do well waiting. Right now my brain is saying "fix it, fix it, fix it!!" though I know only time can do that.
I will pray for guidance, and clarification, since both choices had positive and negative aspects, and hopefully in the future I will be able to choose a bit more wisely.
In the meantime, I will try to get some sleep.....tomorrow is a new day
I don't know what your situation was, but I had a friend who was friends with a couple, and one of them cheated. She kept the secret, because she didn't feel like it was her place to tell, and she wound up losing the trust of the innocent party. I know it would be hard for me if I was the person who knew it, but in that situation, I think it's better to confide to the other person because if someone's disrespectful enough to cheat on their spouse, then their trust isn't worth it anyway! It's a delicate situation, and I'm not sure what you are talking about, but that is what came to mind reading this. Wishing good thoughts your way!
ReplyDeleteI'm not so sure of the situation either but there have been times where I've been where you are, and sometimes the right choice to tell a "secret" is the best. Sometimes a secret is only a way to keep someones sin from being seen. God always shines a light on those if we keep them hidden long enough. It has happened for a reason and only God knows why. It will have to take time to heal the wounds of those affected but if honesty was used like it was supposed to this wouldn't of happened (on their part) not yours. Don't beat yourself up over it, we all make mistakes or do things we shouldn't but from what I can tell you made the right choice. We're not here to be people pleasers, we're here to make God the center of it all. As long as it was God's will and law how could it of been the wrong choice?
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